If you are online looking for a friend, companion or perhaps a soul mate on one of the many Christian dating websites, you are probably wondering what kind of strategy you should adopt during in that process. The thing is, you don’t need a strategy. God loves you the way you are, and you should never pretend to be something you’re not. However, there are certain things that no one likes to see in a person, certain traits that are generally perceived as unattractive or even off-putting.
It’s different for everyone, but it’s safe to say that certain traits are universally perceived as “bad,” especially by Christians. For example, no Christian would want to date a person who treats others badly, who is cruel to animals or who lacks empathy. Those are not things a Christian would want from a partner. So let’s take a look at what personal traits are particularly unattractive to Christian singles.
1. Laziness and Idleness
God wants you to be active, hard-working and full of life. He wants you to celebrate what He has created for you and he definitely wants you to do your part in it. Every Christian knows it, but we often forget to act on it. It’s so easy to get caught in the circle of laziness and idleness, to watch our own life pass us by. It’s an unattractive trait not just because no one wants a depressed couch potato who never has any will or energy to do anything, but, more importantly, because it’s against God’s plan. So, the bottom line is, change your attitude and stop being a sloth.
2. Possessiveness and Jealousy
If you recognize these traits in yourself, you probably realize it’s time to change them. It’s not easy changing yourself, but what matters is that you try. These are negative, destructive qualities for a human being and they are definitely not pleasing anyone.
You yourself wouldn’t want to be with a person who throws a jealous fit every time a member of the opposite sex even glances at you. It’s not fun at all, and it’s certainly unpleasant. Your partner is not your possession and is not supposed to be. Human beings are precious in themselves and you should cherish them, not try to own them or control them. Maybe you’ve been hurt in the past so now you are being cautious and reserved, and maybe your jealousy stems from that, but it’s really not going to help you find love. You need to deal with it and change.
3. Pessimism and Self-Pity
There is something deeply Christian about being hopeful. Trusting God and his plan for you is a big part of the faith. It may seem difficult to imagine ever finding someone out there who is just right for you, or ever getting over that one person who hurt you or went away. But being pessimistic is really not going to get you anywhere. It makes you look gloomy, grumpy and even annoying and no one wants that in a partner.
If you give out the impression that you love yourself just a little bit too much, you can rest assured no Christian will want to date you. Not only is it weird and unattractive, but it’s also not very Christian to be obsessed with yourself. If you are going to worship anyone, it should be God, not yourself.
The Christian faith is all about reaching out to others. If you only care about yourself, it will definitely show in the way you treat others, and no one will see you as a good candidate for a romance. Try looking out for once, instead of looking at yourself all the time, and you’ll see how differently people will react to you.
5. Being Materialistic
We all like nice things – fast cars, fancy vacations, fine dining and beautiful jewelry. But some of us like it more than others, and those people are not very likely to find themselves a perfect Christian soul mate. Christian faith teaches us to focus on the spiritual, not the material aspect of the world, to seek virtue, not money. It’s okay to want something, just don’t make it your priority, especially not over other, more important things like love, family, sharing and helping.